Ownership. Not always an easy thing to do. When things are going well, when we have accomplished great, or even semi-good things, we willingly take ownership. Perhaps humbly, with a quiet smile and heartfelt thanks, or maybe jubilantly doing the happy dance. But what about those things in our lives that aren’t so great? What about our mistakes, serious or not? Do we take ownership of them?
These past few days have been an emotional roller coaster not only for myself, but someone who I love with all my heart. There has been joy and excitement, and grief and despair. Through these days I have been faced with the mistakes of another person, which are drastically affecting lives. I have also had to come face to face with my own mistakes, and I mean whoppers, from my past that caused pain to those I love the most.
When our failures are brought to our attention quite often we want to brush them away. Make excuses. Even blame the other person. But I could not do that. My past mistakes, still have serious consequences to this day. Lives have been and are still being affected. Lives of people I love beyond words. My very children. I can’t brush my past errors under the carpet. I can try to understand and help my loved ones to understand the roots of my actions, but I can’t lay blame. I need to take ownership. No matter how difficult it is.
Our actions have consequences. Some good, some harmful. Hearts can be uplifted and encouraged, or beaten down and broken. Sadly some of my past issues hurt others deeply. Also sadly they may still be living with the after effects of this hurt. I know that my Lord has forgiven me, and for that I am so very thankful. But, I still need to take ownership, and acknowledge my deeds when my children need to talk about them. It’s hard, but vital.
I love to take ownership for my accomplishments. I am the kind who smiles humbly and says thank-you. Then when I’m alone the happy dance comes out. Taking ownership for my failures, my mistakes, the things that caused others pain, is not something I enjoy. There is no happy dance involved. But hopefully there will be healing for the one who brought them to my attention. It’s only with honesty that healing can come. Honesty and our precious Lord.
This has been a very personal post, and a very heavy one. I apologize for that. But whenever I tried to think of an "O" word, this was forefront in my mind. For my Faithwriter friends, if you go to the prayer request forum, you will find a request from me as to this subject. All prayers are appreciated. Thank-you.